If you are in a relationship, you are familiar with the feeling of distress over small things. Fighting for insignificant reasons is toxic, but it can be prevented. You have the choice to be stressed or not. The state of your relationship depends on how you perceive things like treating a problem as a problem. When you do not make a big deal out of a small mistake, there wouldn’t be any misunderstandings or arguments.
Have you heard the quote “Choose your battles?” It means you should be wise enough to determine which situations are worthy of your time and effort. Should you cancel your date just because he is 20 minutes late? Should you go on a trip alone just because he was not able to make it to your best friend’s wedding?
What Are The Small Things You Should Not Be Stressing Yourself About?
- Being Late On Your Dates
Yes, it is quite upsetting to wait for a long while, but have you asked the reason why he was late? Find out the reason why and maybe it is reasonable. He may be a busy person, or his job tends to make him lose track of time. Cut him some slack and appreciate his dedication to his work. Jessica Harris, LCPC, LPC says, “Everyone handles positive and negative stress differently. And yes, for some, positive stress can lead to a negative response to stress, depending on the situation.”
- Not Showing Up On Special Occasions
Again, it is truly heart-breaking to attend an event without a partner. You will be spending the night wondering what is more important than being with you at a family gathering, but then again, stop wondering and ask. He may have a good reason why he missed it. “If emotions become heightened, it’s a good idea to implement a safe word prior to the discussion which indicates that one of the partners needs to take a break,” says Michelle Smith, LMHC.
- Not Texting Or Calling You Back
It is quite a typical scenario between a couple arguing. You bombard your partner with text messages or calls, but he fails to get back to you. Later, you send him threats or sentiments of doubts and hurt. Yes, it is romantic to exchange messages especially when you are on the early stage of your relationship, but if you are ready to take it to the next level, be mature enough to know that there are other pressing matters in life than sending XOXOs like a job perhaps.
- Paying More Attention On His Xbox
It is annoying to see him concentrate on his Xbox more than you. You called him thrice already to eat dinner with you, but he says, “Wait, I’ll just finish this game,” or he may be on it for more than three hours. There may be no excuse for this kind of behavior, but take your time to know his state of mind. Is he stressed at work that he needs to divert his attention to the fantasy world of Xbox? If you have time, you can try playing a game or two with him. You will realize that it’s not as bad as it looks.
“Participating together as a couple gives the partners the opportunity to pay closer attention to one another and listen more intimately to their needs, wants, and dissatisfactions, thus establishing a closer bond and a more intimate connection.” Dana Baduna, PhD, LMFT said. The scenarios mentioned above are the usual causes of arguments, but when you ponder deeper, these things are insignificant compared to problems of infidelity and other forms of abuse. If you are always torn between making a great deal out of something your partner did or letting it slide, think about one great thing he did for you that made you love him. Play it in your head and hold on to it. Maybe then you will realize that his mistakes are nothing you should be stressing yourself over.