What My Counselor Friend Told Me To Never Do Again For Love

I had always been fascinated by the idea of love. Because of that, when one of my classmates in middle school started courting me, I only gave him two weeks before I said yes. We dated for a few months, but we drifted apart right before high school because he needed to move to another city and did not want a long-distance thing.

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Although I was heartbroken, I decided to move on and look for another love. I eventually found it in a senior student in my school. This relationship was different because my boyfriend turned out to be sexually active and – surprise, surprise – lost my virginity to him.

While that boyfriend was great in the sack, I had to go of him because he kept on wanting to sleep with other girls. He might have done that – I did not care to investigate further – but I was glad that it was over.

In the next five years, I continued to look for love and always thought that the man I was with was “the one.” But more often than not, whenever I was really close to believing that a particular guy was my Prince Charming, he would turn out to be one of those dummies who knew how to dress and talk well.

After college, I thought I was way past players. Heck, I already went through my fair share of them; I was ready to settle down. That’s when I met Levy.

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Talk About Finding Gold…

Levy was not like all the other boyfriends I had. For one, he was ten years older than me, so I assumed that he was more than ready to settle down than any other guy around my age. He had made it in life as well, given his successful restaurant business. And if I was honest, he was hotter than the men in my past.

In hopes of speeding things up, I agreed to shack up with Levy when he suggested it. I had never lived with any of my exes until now, so I genuinely believed that Levy was THAT serious about our relationship.

Levy and I lived like typical honeymooners for a few blissful months, and I would wake up every day wondering, “Is this the day when he would propose to me?”

…And Getting Conned With Brass

Two years quickly passed, and I saw no sign of Levy asking me to marry him. Frustrated and drunk, I confronted him one day about it. I got the most brutal slap in the face (albeit metaphorically) when he told me that he was not ready to settle down yet. Levy even said, “We are enjoying our lives right now. Why do we need a piece of paper to bind us?”

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Levy’s statement was so wrong in so many ways that I did not bother to answer him. I just packed my clothes and left. The funny part was, Levy did not even bother to call me or look for me. It was another indication that he was only focused on having fun without the long-term commitment that I wanted.

Since my departure was unplanned, I did not manage to find an apartment at once. I went to the only other person who understood me: my best friend, who also happened to be a counselor. I have never done counseling in my life, but when I told her about what happened with my failed relationship, she told me a few things that I should never do for love again.

Turn Into A Yes Woman

The worst thing about my last relationship was that I wanted the man to love me so bad that I never said no to everything he wanted. When Levy asked me to live with him, I said yes. Whenever he told me he needed to go somewhere, I said sure. In return, I started to lose parts of my true self.

Keep Waiting To Realize My Love Goals 

Another issue was that I did not make my dream of settling down known from the beginning. In my defense, it was because I knew that marriage talks could be intimidating for guys, especially when you are a new couple. I also did not want to seem pushy or clingy in my man’s eyes, so I gave him enough time to develop the same goals.

However, I know now that I should have mentioned my end goal initially. If I did, I would’ve known that marriage was not in Levy’s plans before we even lived together.

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Look For Love

My best friend also advised me to stop looking for love. “Love becomes more elusive when you put so much effort in finding it. Let it come to you instead,” she said.

Final Thoughts

The reality was that I did not believe a single thing that my best friend said to me that day. I thought that all counselors like her were somewhat programmed to say something like that. But since she let me stay in her home, I decided to heed her tips and bided my time to get to know a man before going exclusive with him.

It took three years before love found me, but I would say that it was undoubtedly worth every minute I spent waiting for it.

Why Stressed People Get A Counseling Prescription

I worked for pro mental health, which meant that we had an in-house psychologist who checked our mental health status twice a year. She would dish out a psychological evaluation in the form of questionnaires or interviews. They mainly were done to assess our satisfaction rate in terms of the benefits, workflow, etc.

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During my first year as a junior marketing executive, I got top marks in all my psych exams. After all, I was happy with my new position. I was finally getting paid the amount that was appropriate for my work experience. You could say that my morale was so high that I could eat stress for breakfast and lunch and go home with a genuine smile on my face.

When the second year came, my happiness in satisfaction levels was much higher compared to the previous year. One of the senior marketing executives decided to have an early retirement, so there was an open position that promised better pay. Getting that post had been my goal in the last few months, so when I applied for it, and the bosses practically said it was meant for me, I was over the moon. Although my stress level went up a little, as the psychologist noted, there was nothing to worry about since it was still at the normal range.

What I failed to realize before I took on the new position was that it came with a lot of stress. Instead of needing to fend for me most of the time, I needed to handle at least five employees as a senior marketing executive. I thought that being one of the bosses meant that they would do most of the legwork, but I was wrong. Since it was a marketing job, I had to be as involved in a project as my employees were. But while they were only doing one project at a time, I was expected to oversee all of them at once, which was mentally and physically taxing.

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When I sat down with the psychologist for the first psych evaluation on my third year in the company, my stress level was over my head. The psychologist did not need to use her training to notice that; it was easy to tell based on how much makeup I caked on my face to hide the fact that I had massive and darker eye bags than usual.

The psychologist asked me how I was and how I felt, but I wasn’t going to answer anything other than fine. I did not want to sound ungrateful about my job because I was happy I had it. Because of it, I managed to move out of my crappy apartment and into a nice three-bedroom house within three years. I even paid off the rest of my parents’ home mortgage last Christmas, which made them very happy. Hence, the answer would always be, “I am fine.”

However, I forgot that the psychologist could see through me. She told me that I might have more things on my plate than I could handle. Though I insisted that I just needed a little sleep, she scribbled a telephone number and address on a piece of paper and instructed me to go there after work.

“What is this?” I asked, confused.

“That’s the address and number of the counselor that I always work with. If anyone can help you deal with your stressors, she can – trust me.”

I wanted to argue some more, but the next employee arrived, and I had to return to my office.

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Stress Overload

 That afternoon, one of the new employees must up a project that we had been working on for two months. He thought rearranging the files for that alphabetical order without asking me was a good idea, but the process for that project was so tricky that we already arranged the files in a specific way. Putting everything back in the original order would set us back by at least two weeks.

Out of anger and frustration, I sacked the new guy immediately. I thought I would feel better after that, but I didn’t. When I felt like my head was about to explode due to worries running nonstop in there, I saw the slip of paper that the psychologist gave me. Out of options, I gave the counselor a call and agreed to meet her at 7:00 PM.

Getting Counseling

“Do you know why you are here?”

That’s the first question that came out of the counselor’s mouth as soon as I was comfortable in my chair in front of her desk. I went straight there from work since I was too stressed even to have dinner.

“Is it because of my stress?”

“Yes, that’s correct. Stress is your friend in the beginning as it pushes you to be alert. But when it goes overboard, you tend to fall apart right before everyone’s eyes, and you may not even be aware of it,” the counselor explained.

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Final Thoughts

I gained enlightenment from that first consultation. Even though I did not have a mental disorder, I realized that counseling could benefit everyone, especially those with high stress levels like me. It served as a precautionary measure, considering I could have experienced a nervous breakdown if my stress overloads prolonged.

I could not thank my psychologist enough for prescribing counseling to me.


Frequently Asked Questions About Phone Anxiety

When I talk about my phone anxiety to other people, they pretty much do not believe me. Usually, they start by asking, “Is that a phobia or something?” Honestly, I am not sure if that even exists. But to the knowledge that there is some weird stuff associated with a phobia, I thought maybe it is.

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My phone anxiety is not that easy to explain to everybody as they always begin to ask me questions related to phones, like literally everything about the device. But I say, it is not the device itself, but the function of it. I am afraid of phones because I don’t want to interact with other people over the device.

My anxiety makes me imagine a lot of negative things. Like, what if the person I’m talking to on the other line is already dead? Or what if I am not really talking to someone over the phone? Do you see these strange ideas in my head? It is because of my anxiety.

But sometimes, my imaginations are not that crazy. Sometimes I think about cautions like what if the person on the other line is lying to me, or what if the person on the other line is saying what they are told to? Those things like that that people can somehow tolerate to hear.

I know people laugh at me when I try to answer them as much honesty as I could. It sometimes hurts that they do not care to believe me, but that’s okay. I know phone anxiety is not a joke, and it deals with an overwhelming component related to social anxiety, deep emotional issues, childhood trauma, and unrealistic fears.

So if you are a person like me who struggles to find answers to their somehow “laughable” phone anxiety, give these answered frequently asked questions a shot. They might hold the solution for our mental health issue.

How do I overcome Phone anxiety?

To help yourself overcome phone anxiety, try concentrating on creating a purpose for the call. Instead of being more concerned about what might go wrong, concentrate on the main reason for your call. Be open with the fact that something is always unexpected. News and information you may get might not be the one you want to hear, so bear that in your mind. If you want consistency, write a script and practice it. Be interested and show interest in the person you are on call with.

Why does calling give me anxiety?

Much of our apprehension in making calls is rooted in being misconstrued or unintentionally hurting someone’s feelings. In face-to-face interactions, there are other hints that we can get signs from if our message or voice call does not succeed.

Sometimes the anxiety of making a call is not because you are afraid to talk to someone, but rather you want to be too cautious about the things that you are not supposed to say over the phone.

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How can I stop being scared of anxiety?

Confront your anxieties and fears so that these do not debilitate you. Find smarter means to develop techniques on how to control and master how to deal with your life—practice stress reduction strategies, like exercise, deep breathing, and meditation. Change your mindset to the positive things and views in life.

How can I kill anxiety naturally?

Live a healthier and anxiety-free life through these strategies:

  • Avoid clutter. Organize your home.
  • Humidify your room with lavender to help you relax.
  • Meditate regularly.
  • It is always best to sleep early and get sufficient amounts of sleep daily.
  • Take care of yourself.
  • Don’t consume too much caffeine, processed foods, and sugar.

 Can anxiety be cured completely?

Anxiety is not completely curable. It is because an individual’s inclination towards anxiety is innate, one that is part of his heredity and something that no medication or other treatment can completely get rid of. Hence, we can say that anxiety, indeed, cannot be cured completely.

How long will anxiety last?

Anxiety is frequently associated with a certain situation. It typically builds up and lingers for some time. Panic attacks begin abruptly, with symptoms peaking just after 10 minutes from their onset. It usually subsides after 30 minutes or longer for some people. On the other hand, Generalized anxiety disorder, which is characterized by excessive worry or anxiety, exists for at least six months.

Can anxiety go away with time?

Some anxiety episodes are shorter than others, progressing from several minutes to several days. However, some people claim that their anxious feelings are more than just mere worries or stressful moments. And during these times, the anxiety may not subside for months or even years.

What vitamins help with anxiety?

Multivitamins, omega-3, L-theanine, magnesium, vitamin D, and vitamin B complex are some of the popular vitamins and supplements that reduce anxiety.

Which fruit is good for anxiety?

When you suddenly begin to feel anxious, think of citrus fruits, like oranges. These can tremendously help reduce your anxiety. Studies have found that adding oranges to your diet significantly aids in producing relaxation, calmness, and a better mindset.

Can you beat anxiety without medication?

Anxiety is a monster, but it is not impossible to overcome your struggle without taking any medication. At times, getting rid of nervousness and worry is merely a matter of changing your thoughts, lifestyle, and behavior. You can begin your therapy without taking medications and then consult your doctor about it if your anxiety symptoms persist or perhaps get worse.

Does CBD help anxiety?

CBD is widely utilized for anxiety alleviation. Studies reveal that CBD helps with falling asleep and staying asleep for individuals who struggle with insomnia. CBD can also help treat various kinds of chronic pain.

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How do you calm an overwhelmed mind?

The next time you desperately need to calm yourself down, consider concentrating on your breathing. Take deep and slow breaths. Also, acknowledge your feelings of anger or anxiety. Challenge your negative thoughts and learn to release these negative emotions. Always think things through before even acting on them so you can visualize calm you. It would also help to listen to soothing and relaxing music as it can change your mindset.

What is a drug that calms you down?

The most widely prescribed anti-anxiety medications for instant relief are medicines that are called benzodiazepines. These include alprazolam (Xanax), chlordiazepoxide (Librium), Lorazepam (Ativan), and diazepam (Valium), among others.


Frequently Asked Questions About The Study Of Sleep

Are you stressed out and having trouble with sleeping?

A lot of people compromise their sleep to have more time for other areas of their lives. More often than not, bad quality sleep is caused by overwhelming stress—whether it be from our jobs, studies, families, or other responsibilities.

That’s why paying attention to sleep might be the solution you need to manage your stress and rest better.

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The role of sleep in our well-being is much more important than you might think. While it’s sure that sleep is essential to life, there’s no absolute reason behind the phenomenon. So why exactly do we need to sleep?

Several theories explain why we sleep, and one of these is the adaptive theory of sleep. This theory argues that humans and animals evolved unique sleeping patterns to avoid being present during their predators’ hunting times.

On the one hand, predators do not worry about being vulnerable at night, so they sleep longer during the day. On the other hand, humans and prey are typically asleep at night and for shorter periods.

Another theory of sleep is the restorative theory. This theory states that sleep is needed because it allows for replenishing necessary nutrients and repairing bodily damages. Sleep is also said to facilitate brain plasticity and memory formation.

No one theory is more accurate than the other. Both the adaptive theory and restorative theory are used in understanding the mechanisms of sleep. Nevertheless, sleep is an essential part of life. Not being mindful of it will have serious consequences on our health.

Without realizing it, sleep deprivation is especially common among people with demanding lifestyles, such as students, parents, and working individuals.

Chronic sleep deprivation can significantly increase an individual’s risk for illnesses such as heart disease, hypertension, depression, and stroke. A few nights of poor sleep can seriously affect physical and mental functioning.

If you find yourself constantly sleep-deprived, know that you can still do something about it. Read the full article to learn how to rest better and other frequently asked questions about sleep.

What are the 5 types of sleep disorders?

The five types of sleep disorder are:

  1. sleep apnea
  2. insomnia
  3. restless legs syndrome
  4. narcolepsy
  5. REM sleep behavior disorder

The symptoms of these conditions can make patients feel irritable and exhausted. As a result, it can significantly affect their daily activities and relationships. Fortunately, there are treatments available for these sleep disorders.

How much does a sleep psychologist make?

According to data, a sleep psychologist makes around $60,000 to $80,000 annually. The average salary varies depending on experience, company, location, and benefits.

A sleep psychologist also earns from research grants and conducting talks. Overall, how much a sleep psychologist makes is highly similar to that of a licensed psychologist.

Why is sleep so important in psychology?

Sleep is crucial in psychology because it affects our overall well-being, from physical, emotional, to mental health. Sufficient sleep restores the brain. It also helps regulate essential bodily functions.

On the other hand, sleep deprivation can cause risks. Lack of sleep can result in heart disease, high blood pressure, depression, stroke, etc. It can also extend to frequent mood changes, poor work performance, and relationship problems.

Ultimately, sleep deprivation affects the overall well-being.

What are the stages of sleep psychology?

Rapid eye movement (REM) sleep and non-REM sleep are the basic types of sleep stages. They link to specific neuronal activities. Here are the stages of sleep psychology:

  • Non-REM Sleep Stage 1: This is the short transition from wakefulness to sleep. It is where you will experience a slowing of breath, heartbeat, and movements.
  • Non-REM Sleep Stage 2: This is the light sleep phase that occurs before deep sleep. At this point, the body slowly relaxes.
  • Non-REM Sleep Stage 3: This is the deep sleep phase. It is where your breathing and heartbeat are at their lowest levels.
  • REM Sleep: This happens around 90 minutes after you fall asleep. Here, your eyes rapidly move from side-to-side while your eyelids are closed.

Why is it harder to sleep as we age?

It is normal to experience changes in sleeping patterns, including experiencing lighter sleep. You may also wake up more often and more quickly. It is also possible to experience lesser deep sleep. However, symptoms of disturbed sleep and insomnia are not a part of aging.

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How do I get more deep sleep?

The most crucial step in increasing your deep sleep is having enough sleep. To do this, you should have a regular bedtime schedule. Set a time for you to go to sleep and wake up. It would also help to avoid drinking caffeine before bed as it makes it harder to fall asleep.

Some research says that exercise and aerobic activities can consolidate deep sleep. Experts suggest that it’s better to exercise during the day.

What is the deepest stage of sleep psychology?

The deepest sleep psychology stage is stage three of non-REM sleep. It lasts around 20 to 40 minutes. Sometimes, it’s also called slow-wave sleep. During this time, there is an increase in the delta brain activity. It is also the stage where you are the hardest to wake up.

How long does it take to go into a deep sleep?

It takes around 90 minutes after falling asleep to enter REM sleep. It lasts for about an hour. The deep sleep in this process lasts approximately 20 to 40 minutes. This cycle repeats up to three to four times every sleep.

What causes no deep sleep?

Deep sleep deprivation can happen because of many possible causes. It includes a weakened sleep drive, poor sleep habits, substance use, medications, and other conditions. If not addressed, lack of deep sleep can lead to severe sleep disorders.

Should I stay up all night if I can’t sleep?

It’s not advisable to stay up all night when you can’t sleep. Otherwise, it becomes highly likely for your mood and mental function to decline the next day.

If you can’t sleep, experts suggest staying out of bed for around 30 minutes. Then, go back to bed once you start to feel drowsy and sleep. As a result, you’ll be able to fall asleep faster.

How can I sleep deeply without medicine?

Many people rely on sleep medications to have a deep sleep. However, heavy dependence on these medication aids can make your sleep cycle worse.

You can try to sleep deeply by developing good sleep hygiene. These are set habits that you can do before bedtime for a better and deeper sleep.

It includes establishing a regular sleep schedule, getting adequate natural daylight exposure, exercising, taking a warm bath before bed, preparing a pleasant sleep environment, and more.

Paying attention to sleep hygiene facilitates healthy sleep. However, it can’t be used as a single cure for more serious sleeping disorders such as insomnia.

Good sleeping habits are just not enough to solve the root cause of the insomnia problem. Instead, sleep psychologist Dr. Jade Wu offers two ways to manipulate biological and psychological processes to address insomnia.

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First, she suggests building up your sleep drive. Sleep drive is essentially like hunger for your sleep. People with insomnia often don’t have enough sleep drive when they go to bed. They might have slept in, took naps, or weren’t that active during the day.

If you relate to this, you can build up your sleep drive by:

  • getting up at the same time every day (even if you didn’t sleep well the previous night);
  • not going to bed until you’re sleepy; and,
  • not taking naps during the day.

Second, Dr. Wu suggests retraining your brain. People with insomnia typically get the “busy” brain whenever they lie down in bed and try to sleep. Lying down in bed then becomes the brain’s cue to be hyperactive. You can break this connection through these methods:

  • Don’t go to bed unless you’re sleepy.
  • If you’re starting to fret or you can’t fall asleep after around 20-30 minutes, get out of bed.
  • Don’t track the clock if 20 or 30 minutes have already passed.

Another factor that influences our sleep quality is our stress levels. When not managed properly, stress can easily cause poor sleep and even sleepless nights.

To prevent feeling overly stressed out when you’re about to sleep, you can invoke the body’s natural relaxation response. You can do this by practicing relaxation techniques such as:

  • meditation (mindfulness, body scan, or guided meditation),
  • deep breathing,
  • progressive relaxation, and
  • biofeedback.

Remember that sleeping is just as important as fitness and nutrition in the maintenance of our health. Hopefully, you can use this article’s contents to improve your sleep quality and live your healthiest life.

Frequently Asked Questions About OCD

Before I got diagnosed with obsessive-compulsive disorder, I thought that one of my personalities involves a thing people called “perfectionist.” At times, I really like the idea that I focus solely on things that are near to perfection and that I value myself with high standards. I get to do things based on what people see as a ritual. Despite my routines being repetitive, I find them amusing. Usually, even if others are getting annoyed by my habits, I feel a little less concerned about their opinions as I perceive myself highly in control of things. And the more I want people to see me as a likable and almost-flawless individual, the more I engage in manipulating others.

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The compulsive behavior tends to grow stronger over time. I thought that was just normal since I don’t consider seeing something wrong with myself. But when it affected my relationships with other people, including my colleagues, friends, and family, that is where I decided to get help and asked a therapist about my so-called ‘perfectionist” behavior. From there, my doctor told me that I have OCD.

Honestly, I don’t understand the diagnosis. I am convinced that there is nothing with me and that I only do things based on urges, regardless if those are irrational. However, with my therapist’s support and answers to these frequently asked questions, I learned a lot.

Is OCD classified as an anxiety disorder? 

OCD is not anymore classified as an anxiety disorder according to the DSM. But still, it is a mental health condition that can go along with the latter. It involves disturbing images, thoughts, or urges that somehow bring a great deal of overall discomfort. It contributes to repetitive behaviors or inappropriate mental acts.

That explains why I often do things over and over again. That even if my actions tend to hurt others, I feel a little less concerned. Perhaps that is why even the closest persons in my life do not want me near them anymore.

 What are the four types of OCD? 

The four types of OCD are cleaning and contamination, doubt or harm, perfection, impulses, and prohibited thoughts.

 Is OCD a mental illness? 

Yes. OCD or Obsessive-compulsive disorder is indeed a mental illness made up of two parts. One is obsessions unwanted and repetitive images, thoughts, or sensations that pretty much don’t go away. And compulsions where people feel driven to do something repetitively with or without a trigger. Regardless of the condition, there are chances that people might experience both.

In my case, I am not pretty sure if I get to include myself in the first option since I am more engaged with repetitively doing something that I thought I want.

 Can OCD go away? 

Obsessive-compulsive disorder is a chronic condition that can negatively affect an individual’s life. It does not fix itself and is commonly not cured completely. OCD doesn’t vanish or go away on its own, and it requires treatment and sometimes medication to be addressed.

Right now, I am seeing my therapist for quite a few hours every session, and I take medication to get rid of the symptoms slightly.

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 What is the root cause of OCD? 

There are core issues that lead to OCD symptoms. Usually, these factors can get associated with anxiety, such as trauma, abusive parents, bullying, relationship matters, etc. But OCD is not limited to that since genetic can also become a factor when chemical and structural abnormalities in the brain are the cause.

As for me, I think my OCD started when I thought about controlling things around me. Since a large portion of my life is uncontrollable, I began to shift my thoughts into working, taking things according to my desire. I don’t experience abuse, but I often get emotionally tortured by judgment and rejection from the people I love.

 Does OCD get worse with age? 

OCD, when left untreated, can get worse. The symptoms can lead to physical side effects and serious mental health issues due to compulsions. OCD relies more on unwanted or upsetting doubts, which disrupts important life factors such as problem-solving and decision-making. But fortunately, OCD responds well to a variety of different treatment methods even though it is a serious disorder.

 How do I stop my OCD thoughts? 

Managing several obsessive thoughts from OCD can be addressed through psychotherapy. The most common method is cognitive-behavioral therapy or CBT. Besides that, people with OCD can also get treated with an exposure and response prevention therapy approach or ERP. But if you can handle the condition even for a while, remember not to waste time trying to prevent or not think through your thoughts. When you have OCD, never question, analyze, or argue with obsessive thoughts.

 Are you born with OCD? 

Usually, OCD or compulsions are considered learned behaviors. It becomes repetitive and chronic over time, especially when it gets associated with relief from anxiety. Though common OCD causes are genetic and hereditary factors, environmental risk factors are also likely to be involved. Also, the functional, chemical, and structural abnormalities in the brain can reinforce the damage.

 What are the common warning signs of OCD? 

Common warning signs of OCD include fear of not having the things you like, fear of losing control over small things, fear of harming yourself or others, fear of being contaminated or getting ill, and fear of engaging in violent thoughts and images. OCD is all about an intense fear that changes the way you respond and behaves towards your surroundings.

I admit, there is nothing more painful for me than knowing that I cannot sometimes control things around me. But with the help of my medication and therapy treatment, I think I will be fine.

 What triggers OCD in a child? 

Things that can trigger OCD in a child are fear of dirt or germs, contamination, illness, lucky and unlucky numbers, etc. Usually, in most common scenarios, people can easily identify OCD when there is a need for order, symmetry, and precision. Sometimes, in worst cases, there is a sexual or aggressive thought lingering and religious obsession.

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 Are people with OCD smart? 

Though OCD can be a negative thing for some individuals, others consider it a gift. That is because sufferers of OCD often exhibit high imagination, creativity, and above-average intelligence. But it is vital to note that there is difficulty dismissing random and weird thoughts for those experiencing primarily mental obsessions.

 What is having OCD like? 

Though some people may experience different symptoms and suffer from OCD at a different level, they somehow experience the same thing. That is having a broken signal in the head that only an individual can hear. It endlessly points out the danger and emergencies that others don’t seem to see.

 What is wrong with an OCD brain? 

Experts define OCD as an issue of incorrect information processing. It is where people with OCD often find themselves stuck on a certain urge or thought. But in clinical explanation, these changes usually involve the imbalance in serotonin, which controls feelings and moods.

 What famous person has OCD?

Celebrities known to have OCD are Howie Mandel, Cameron Diaz, Howard Stern, Leonardo DiCaprio, Charlize Theron, Daniel Radcliffe, and Frank Sinatra.


Why Do You Have To Take Care Of Your Mental Health?

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Your mental health is one of the vital aspects of your life. It impacts your feelings, thoughts, and behavior. Over the course of your existence, your mental health needs tend to change and demand more attention. That is because of the stress you experience in life, which is inevitable. As you grow older, you get more exposed to all the hardships, disappointments, sadness, and uncertainties of the world. That is the reason you need to try and indulge in habits and activities that supports better emotional and mental development. These include eating healthy food, exercising, hanging out with good people, doing things you like, etc. But taking care of the mental state is not limited to the idea of avoiding self-sabotage. There is so much to it that provides you a lot of life benefits. So why do you need to take care of your mental health?

To Make Better Decisions In Life

Having a healthy mental state means also having a well-functioning emotional state. Both of those aspects work hand in hand in providing you with enough strength and intellect to face life’s challenges. That way, you get to be resilient on your every setback and stay positive to whatever drawbacks you may experience. A healthy emotional and mental state allows you to focus on creating better decisions in life. These include how you handle your mind and body, embrace your imperfections, understand your emotions, and foster a good relationship with other people.

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To Be Happy

When you are mentally stable, you understand that life is entirely unfair. You know that there are so many things around you that you cannot control, no matter how hard you try. That even if you already sacrificed a lot, life would still throw rocks at you. But that is the point. With life’s imperfections, the only thing that can make you appreciate it is when you are mentally capable of using the situation to your advantage. Mental stability can pull you back to reality. That reality will show you that even if you are experiencing a lot of failure, heartaches, and problems in life, better things are just right around the corner. Mental stability can show you that grasses are always greener on the other side.

To Understand Your Purpose

Your mental state is so powerful that it can make you understand your purpose. Believe it or not, mental stability is the key to your ability to learn. It helps you to cope with life’s damages and uncertainties. It is your asset to express yourself through a different range of negative and positive emotions. When you are mentally stable, you are motivated to reframing stressful situations. It makes you deal with things productively so that you can achieve more incredible things in life. As you use your mental strength more often, you attract positivity. That positivity leads you to an enhanced ability to recover from traumatic and stressful events.

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To Give Love And Care For Others

There’s a saying that goes, “you will never be able to provide love and care when you don’t provide those to yourself first” That is entirely true. Providing others the attention and support they need requires a lot from you. The reason why you have to be mentally capable is for you to ensure that the other person’s well-being connects to you. Aside from that, when you are mentally capable of caring, you avoid constant worry. You never feel tired but rather happy with what you do that benefits others. You become interested not only in your self-growth but in other people’s overall wellness as well.

To Accept Life As It Is

Mental stability is something that gives you peace and serenity. That despite the many challenges you have to face in your life, there is an assurance of acceptance. It has a significant function in your emotional response to trauma, stress, anxiety, and relationship issues. When you are mentally strong, you understand the significance of life-stages. With that, you complain less about the environment and people’s imperfections. You have the will to accept the bad and the ugly side of everything without blaming or hurting yourself. You become more open to reality and are more than willing to embrace change. You create a positive sense of the things around you regardless of their purpose.

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Mental health care means a lot for improvement, positivity, and awareness. It allows you to engage in the realization of emotional response despite limited understanding. When you practice taking care of it, all the things around you benefit from it. You gain the ability to learn, feel, express, and manage a different range of emotions. You also benefit from the enhanced ability to understand other people’s feelings and maintain better relationships. So again, why do you need to take care of your mental health? Because, why not?

How To Deal With A Stressful Family Member

One of the most challenging things about being in a family is learning how to deal with a stressful member.  Understandably, we all feel that it is okay, and we have to let it go because they are family. However, for the sake of our emotional and mental well-being, we need to set up appropriate limits around them. That is if these members of our families are the ones causing us to have stress, anxiety, and even depression. So how can we do that?

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We Need to Understand Them Thoroughly

Toxic people are often the driving forces behind a particular conflict. Unfortunately, our families are not exempted from that. They negatively impact our emotional and mental well-being without blissfully knowing they are. The worst part of dealing with these family members is when we give in to their toxicity and allow them to take control. Unfortunately, it sometimes influences us to treat others the way our family treated us. With that, we need to understand that our family members are not perfect, and they are also not capable of self-reflection. Sometimes, though they get into our nerves, we can’t control them as they often see themselves the victim once after a confrontation.

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We Need To Learn To Say No

One of the worse things that we probably complain most often is when our family members take us for granted. But didn’t it occur to ourselves that perhaps the reason why these individuals treat us like that is that we allow them? We often put the blame on our family members for stressing us out. But we never tried doing anything to stop the toxic cycle. So if we want to secure our emotional and mental health, we need to learn to say no to them. We need to say no every time they ask us a favor that will put us in a bad situation. We have to put an end in their usual ways of hurting us intentionally or unintentionally. We need to think about ourselves for once and never feel guilty about it. We need to be strong enough to stand for ourselves, no matter what.

We Need To Establish Boundaries

It is the part where we often sell our selves short. It is due to our mentality that because the toxic people are our family, there is nothing we can do. But that is far from the truth. It is important to understand that we need to rise above other people, especially when necessary. That way, we can have an edge in determining when we should stop falling for their toxic behavior. We need to be firm on our decisions and boundaries to allow us to think rationally. We need to know when and where we should put up with our family members. That way, our strong resentment will enable us to see the toxicity more predictably.

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We Need To Ignore Them In Some Cases

There are situations that we can’t control our families when they are attempting to be unreasonable. Sometimes, the more we try to understand their sides, we unnoticingly become the villain. So for the most part, we need to practice the dynamics of ignoring these individuals in some cases. But it is vital to note that before we can make execution in ignoring a member of the family, we must consider a few things. First, we need to take note of their loud and interruptive behavior. We can only ignore them in public because they tend to hide aggressive retaliation when we are not paying attention. Second, we need to ignore them in a certain way. Sometimes, some family members are way too insensitive that ignoring them won’t do the trick. So we need to show them that their presence is highly not that important, especially their unwanted antics.

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We Need To Be Honest With Them

Most of the time, there are family members who just love to make our lives miserable. But don’t get misunderstand this. It doesn’t mean ALL of them do not love us in some ways. There are just those individuals who satisfy themselves whenever they hurt us emotionally and physically. One way to deal with them is to be honest about what we feel. We need to let them know that their presence sometimes makes things worse for us and that their behaviors and actions are not only making us feel emotionally uncomfortable, but mentally unstable as well. These people need to know it either nicely or rudely.

There are lots of things we could complain about our families. But the reality is that, even though we experience a lot of difficulties understanding each other, we are still far more effective together. In dealing with their stressful behavior, it is vital that we think about our well-being first. You deserve to have inner peace more than anyone. If you don’t have that in your life right now, BetterHelp can assist you. Download it in Play Store now!


Tips To Handle Your Stress During Your Work-From-Home Setup

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With the emergence of COVID-19, more and more companies are now transitioning to the new normal for work – the work-from-home (WFH) setup. Big businesses like Microsoft, Google, and Gap have responded to this call. For them, the safety of their employees is their primary concern. If they can do their work efficiently and productively at home, then why risk it outside?

Some have now experienced this work environment in the past months due to the pandemic. However, many voiced out that it’s not as easy as they thought it was going to be. 

Clinical psychologist Kevin Gillliland, PsyD says, “Working from home can be more challenging than it seems.” The executive director of Innovation 360, an outpatient group of counselors and therapists adds, “Your home is filled with distractions you simply don’t encounter at work, especially if you have other people living, working, or trying to get school work done.”

With this in mind, here are some tips on how you can handle your stress amid the WFH approach. 

Avoid A Too Formal Business Meeting Throughout

When working remotely, there is a tendency to stick with formal business meetings. It is far away from the serendipitous collaborations, which happen when you’re face-to-face with your colleagues. Some examples of these informal encounters include chatting every after meetings, having a joke with them, stopping by your co-worker’s desks, and catching up in the pantry.

The only problem with WFH is that these video conferences eliminate these tender acts. Going with purely business conversations throughout the meeting only stresses you out. The best way to go about this is to schedule a time for informal discussions.

Read Minimal News

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While keeping up to date is vital, the World Health Organization (WHO) reminded the public that this might only be bad for our mental health. Continually reading and watching negative news only adds to the stress you feel.

Given that you’re at home, you have access to these media outlets anytime. Compare this to the restrictions you face while at work since you’re not allowed to open your social media accounts anytime you want. 

When working from home, stick to one working tab only. Do not deviate from your work to check on the latest news. Focus on finishing your tasks so that your emotions are not all over the place. 

Ask For Help

Having a non-existent boundary between work and home is stressful. Since you’re just at home, you tend to get stressed with your pending house chores and errands. Having too many tasks on your plate, both for your job and at home, this will only be a primary source of anxiety. 

To help you balance everything, don’t hesitate to ask for help from your partner, spouse, other family members, or friends you’re living with. Delegate tasks to the people around you so that you’ll feel more relaxed. If the work is getting to your head more often than usual, BetterHelp can give you mental help.

Schedule Your Exercise

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Getting some physical activity during this stressful time is essential. You can establish a work-out schedule every day, and block this off from your calendar. Since you can’t go to the gym, you can download some exercise apps or just put songs that you can dance out. 

You may also ask your co-workers to join your cause by making this a virtual group activity. Invite your colleagues for a quick video call, put on a Youtube fitness video, and exercise your heart. 

Take Mini Breaks

It’s too draining for you if you work for hours straight. Instead, step away from your laptop and stand up even for ten minutes to stretch. This mini-break will help you relax and stay focused. Several studies in Sweden revealed that students who were given short breaks before answering a test scored higher than those who didn’t get a chance to relax. 

There are also apps that you can use to help you sustain this practice. Mollie, a Time Out app for Mac users, serves as an alarm clock. It reminds you that you have been staring at the computer for a while already. Aside from this, it will also encourage you to walk around, stretch, grab a snack, or change your sitting position. 

Aside from taking off your physical health, so you won’t be susceptible to the virus, you should also handle your mental health. This pandemic is taking a toll on us, and add to this the continuous stress that you get from the work-from-home setup. Just follow these four tips so you’ll be able to manage these negativities. 

Handling Stress And Anxiety During The COVID-19 Outbreak

With all the things happening in the world right now, it can take a toll on your emotional health. You’re not alone. Sudden changes in a person’s life and daily routine can result in mood swings, withdrawal, and overall impact on physical health. It’s essential to keep your state of mind in check while you’re in quarantine and isolation from the people you used to see regularly.

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As the world continues to manage the cases of COVID-19, you have to remain calm and healthy for yourself and other people. Here are some ways on how to manage stress and anxiety during the COVID-19 Outbreak:

Accept Your Emotions

You have to understand that feeling scared, sad, confused, or angry at the time of a crisis is normal. Don’t think that you have to keep your emotions on lock. Once you accept your feelings, you can express them with ease. Do remember that feeling emotions mean you care.

Contact The People You Trust

Even when everyone is in isolation, you can talk with your loved ones easily through the use of technology. Confer with them when you’re feeling overwhelmed. It can help to soothe your mind and release your worries. Knowing the safety of the people you care about can also help you to remain relaxed. You don’t have to hold your emotions all by yourself.

Don’t solely talk about the COVID-19 Outbreak. Although it’s important to stay alert with your loved ones, it will be helpful to take a break for a while. You can talk about funny life stories and thoroughly enjoy each other’s company.

Maintain A Healthy Lifestyle

Even when you’re at home, staying healthy should still be a priority. Exercising, maintaining a proper diet, and getting a good night’s sleep help to relieve stress, release anxiety, and manage moods. Even without gym equipment, you can break a sweat in your home. You can search for free online classes or exercise videos on Youtube.

Since we’re currently facing a pandemic, remaining healthy can shield you from the risks as well. And with how the virus is spreading, staying healthy also means protecting other people who might be at risk.

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Avoid Drinking Or Smoking

It will be harder for you to cope with your emotions if you don’t practice healthy habits. Alcohol can make you feel worse than before, as it is a depressant. If you’re feeling extreme stress and anxiety, you can contact a health worker or a counselor.

Only Read News From Credible Sources

As much as staying updated on recent developments is essential, seeing news that only promotes hate and inaccuracy can hurt your mental health. Knowing credible sources means you will only get the correct information. It can avoid panic and allows you to carefully manage your risk so that you can take sensible precautions.

Remember to only share articles from credible sources to avoid causing the panic of others as well. If it’s getting overwhelming, limit the time you’re watching the news. You can tell your friends or family to share the news with you instead.

Limit Your Usage Of Social Media 

If anxiety is an ongoing issue, you can log off when things are getting a little too much because social media can be toxic. Stay mindful of how social media is making you feel. You can mute people or keywords that are worsening your anxiety.

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Focus On The Things You Have Control Of

There are so many uncertainties surrounding our lives today. We don’t know how long this may extend, the condition of other people, or what’s going to happen in our communities. But if we focus on the things we don’t have the answer yet, we will only feel more drained and anxious over time.

Instead, direct your attention to the things that you can have control over. You can make sure to restrict the risks of the COVID-19 cases in your community through your actions. Remain at home as much as you can, secure social distancing, maintain proper hygiene, and follow health authorities.

Practice Self-Care Even When In Isolation

Remain kind to yourself and make choices beneficial for your state of mind. Maintain a routine as firmly as you can, stick to your regular sleep, read a good book, watch movies, play games (https://www.familyhype.com/children/childrens-products/games/xbox/what-are-the-best-xbox-360-games-for-10-year-old-boy.html), cook, or make art. You can also try meditating and yoga to maintain a sense of normalcy in your life. Try to get sunshine as much as you can if possible.

Always remember that we’re all in this together. You can recover a sense of purpose and relief by caring for yourself, helping others, and supporting communities. Follow guidelines and look after yourself so you can continue to be a calming influence in devastating times like this.