Marriage is a commitment between two people to love and respect each other until the day they die. However, when life gets in the way, and the couple disagrees, it can also become a very stressful union. It is one of the reasons why a couple will experience troubles, and it may be the bridge to their ultimate separation or divorce.
Marriage has its advantages and disadvantages, but a couple can survive the trials if they still have love in their hearts, and they learn to compromise with each other. (Online therapy for couples can also help. Check BetterHelp for more details.)
Anyway, for learning purposes, here are some causes for marital stress:
Common Causes Of Marital Stress
Having a family can be costly, and it is a major financial adjustment for both husband and wife. Additional financial obligations may arise which will eventually cause stress on the couple. The couple should sit down and talk about their budgets if they want to fix the problem. Of course, they must also agree to not fight about money which will be difficult. Jason B. Whiting, PhD, LMFT explains that “Many referred to financial limitations, and these were often connected to caring for children: “I had no family, two young children, no money, and guilt because he had brain damage from a car accident.” Others were unable to keep jobs because of the abuser’s control or their injuries, and others were used financially by their abuser: “[My] ex racked up thousands of debt in my name.”
Most couples have a hard time with parenting. It’s not an easy task to be a mother or a father. Anyway, they have to talk about how many kids they are planning to have. They also have to talk about when they must start having kids, how they will bring all of them up, and so on. Problems between couples that initiate with the children include differing views on parenting, when one of the two blames the other for the bad things happening to their child, and more.
There are also instances wherein a couple will have to deal with traumatic experiences. Jor-El Caraballo, LMHC said, “Relationships in and of themselves do not create mental illness.” However, he adds, “When we suffer in our relationships, it can be difficult to move forward from past hurt and trauma.” It includes losing a child, having a child with special conditions and so much more. Such would become an additional burden to them and will eventually cause tension and stress. However, a couple can overcome this if they learn to accept and support one another during these hard times. It is a lot of work and effort, but if they want to make it, they will find a way.
A scarcity of family time due to work commitments is another stressor in marriage. A huge percentage of couples these days are involved in the workforce, thus, they have less time at home to be with their family. Being at work eight to twelve hours a day will eventually tire a person, and this will disable them to interact with their family. Tension and loneliness will occur in the household if there is no work-life balance.
Due to stress at work, personal trauma or relationship issues, a person can become very irritable and unreasonable at times. It will make the person so hard to deal with, and then, it will cause tension between the couple. Worse is, some would get into drinking, infidelity, gambling and self-medicating. It will only make things worse for the couple. In times like this, the couple should find time to talk and sort out their personal issues.
Changes can occur over time. Never expect things to be the same forever. Usually, these changes shock the other person and could cause strain between the two. However, such can be avoided if one or both of them will adapt to the changes. Instead of resisting it, try to analyze, understand and even accept the idea for the good of the relationship.
How Can Marital Stress Be Managed?
Talking and listening to one another always helps. Couples just have to be open and honest during this process, and they should also apply respect when communicating with one another. By doing this, they will fully understand each other and minimize stressful encounters. (Online therapy may also help.) Dr. Chantal Gagnon PhD LMHC expresses that “Often, one or both partners can begin to feel they have married the wrong person. Much of this can be avoided with in-depth premarital therapy.” So, it’s an option.
Giving the other that much-needed attention will help eliminate the stress. What is once a week date night or a few minutes of talking each day? It will ignite intimacy and add love points in your marriage book.
Spending time with each other will allow the couple to bond and nurture their relationship. With this, communication lines and understanding will be open between the two, and whatever problem comes their way, it will be repaired.