If you’re already receiving anger management counseling by choice, that means you’re eager to learn how to keep your cool most of the time. Hence, you may be going to every session religiously. The counselor may not even need to prompt you to speak up, whether during interpersonal or group therapy. Perhaps you don’t forget any homework as well and genuinely use the calming techniques taught by the therapist in your daily life.
However, regardless of how much you attempt to stay out of trouble, sometimes the problem still seeks you. There may be circumstances, for that reason, wherein you forget the teachings from therapy and get close to blowing up. “Anger can be expressed either directly through “lashing out” or indirectly through “passive-aggressive” behavior. With passive-aggressive behavior, individuals punish others by being belligerent, not responding, pouting, or simply running away.” Ben Martin, Psy.D. elaborates.
Having this experience too often can jeopardize your hard work and bring you back to square one, you know. So, what should you do when you’re so furious that you can no longer see straight?
- Don’t Hide It
The first tip you need to try is venting out your anger as soon as you feel it. You should not conceal it for longer than a few hours because it may resemble a dormant volcano that can flare up anytime. It is also quite disadvantageous for you to carry a heavy heart all the time, while others remain oblivious of your dark emotion.
Rage can be an excellent source of motivation to exercise as well. Instead of exerting effort to go on a shouting match with someone or break stuff, push yourself to run, swim, or do squats. You may even start dancing or weightlifting if that’s your jam, but never stay still when you’re super angry. That’s the key to avoiding regretful actions, frankly speaking.
Assuming you have a physical condition that prevents you from exercising, another thing you can do is step away from the scene. Leave the room immediately and don’t even contemplate about re-entering it unless you’re confident that your anger won’t blow up in everyone’s faces. Remember, “Mindfulness for Anger Management puts mindfulness into action with transformative skills and real strategies for overcoming anger and taking control of powerful emotions.” Stephen Dansiger PsyD MFT said.
Nobody can call you a coward for doing so. You are merely trying to save people from feeling your wrath. This way, once the strong emotion fades, you may return to the room without hurting anyone either verbally or non-verbally.
- Pause Before You Speak
When you’re beyond furious, the sudden adrenaline rush can keep you from looking at the big picture. Your only goal at that second is to think of a response to whatever someone said quickly. You no longer bother to reflect on how your words will make others feel later.
In case the truth hasn’t set in yet, you should realize that such behavior is the ultimate relationship-breaker. It’s impossible to retain people in your life like that, especially when your rage turns you into an inconsiderate human being. What may foil that is waiting for several beats before speaking so that you won’t accidentally say things you don’t mean.
Whether you’re getting anger management counseling or not, there will genuinely be times when you’ll lose your sanity and do something rash out of rage. That’s human nature, and even the folks who meditate often can have such raw moments. What’s entirely unacceptable, however, is not trying to limit or lessen those outbursts since they can be burdensome for others, as well as for your health. Roya R. Rad, MA, PsyD suggests that you “give yourself permission to do some serious emotional healing to become your happiest self and remember, it is a process more than a destination.”
Don’t be afraid to ask for psychological help if the tips above are insufficient to curb the temptation to act like a madman(or woman). Visit a counseling platform or a facility near you soon. Good luck!