Losing someone you love is the hardest thing to deal with in this lifetime. You think you will live together for a long time, but an illness or accident takes that person – and your dream – away from you. You grieve over the unfortunate happenstance for weeks, and the people around you may tell you to let it all out and explore everything you want to feel.
The truth is that grief will not leave your system even after years of allowing the emotions to flow. You will always remember your deceased loved one and wonder about the things you may still be doing with each other, should your love be alive till now. Despite that, your life does not end with theirs. Sooner than later, your bosses might ask you to return to work and fulfill your tasks in the company.
So here are ways to overcome grief without ruining your source of living.
- Start Moving
When you are grieving over a special someone’s death, you tend to feel so powerless. You have no energy to cook or chew your food. The laundry from last month is still there. You have not picked up your phone or opened the windows at home since after the funeral.
“Loneliness is an epidemic, We’re the most socially connected society, yet so many people experience extreme loneliness.” psychologist Amy Sullivan, PsyD. said. But in reality, you can move – you merely do not wish to do so. If you want to keep your job, you should start doing your house chores for starters until you find the strength to go out and work at the office.
2. Accept Support From The Living
Some people who do not want to worry their loved ones tend to grieve in isolation. They prefer not to leave the house and stay curled up in bed while looking at old pictures with the deceased fellow. They either turn off their phones as well or make others believe that they are doing okay even though that is not the case.
If you keep on dealing with grief by yourself, it might take forever before you can move on from the pain. You are also inadvertently stealing your friends and family’s chance to help you and share your worries. You have to accept already that these people will always care for you and support you no matter what. As Ryan Mebust – LMFT expresses it, “We all experience obstacles in life that keep us from feeling and being whole. Many have found counseling as a way to invest in themselves, their relationships, or their families in order to support a better or new meaning on life.”
- Seek Your Coping Mechanism
According to Alicia H. Clark, PsyD, “Rooted in a belief that we can’t handle how we are feeling, believing our anxiety is dangerous just might be the most damaging approach we can take to coping with it.” However, the individuals whose loved one died earlier than expected usually find solace in doing the stuff that their dearly departed used to do. For instance, a man used to go to the same coffee shop in the morning to get a latte and read the newspaper there. When he passed, his wife did that as often as possible because she knew that he liked being in that place.
Similarly, you may recall the things that the deceased wanted you to do. “Loosen up and have fun.” “Think of your well-being too.” “Tidy things up around here.” Following their advice may allow you to overcome grief soon since the dead might see from the heavens that you did listen to them.
- Live For Your Deceased Loved One
It is a fact that nobody wants to die early. That’s why we try to eat and live healthily. That’s why people get checkups regularly. At times, however, the dying person merely accepts their fate, hoping that you will be able to do the things they will never get to do because of the circumstance.
You ought to think of this wish whenever you feel like letting grief consume you and stop you from having a full life. Try new stuff every day; work and love as much as you can. Those are simple ways to honor their memory.
- Don’t Be Harsh On Yourself
As mentioned above, grief won’t end after your loved one’s first death anniversary. It may still be there even when you entertain the idea of meeting someone new. You may not forget the loss, although you have already moved away.
If a month passed and you cannot get over the incident, inform your colleagues about it. They will understand you because they know how hard it is to lose someone. At the same time, you should not hate yourself for grieving for too long. Time can only tell when your pain will genuinely leave.
Hopefully, the tips above can help you deal with grief without ruining your source of living. Good luck!